I remembered that desire in the strangers’ eyes and that guilty flood of lust that he'd created in me. I began to feel quite naughty, I glanced back at the stranger and the words "Would you... really" echoed in my mind. - Would I? No... Definitely not, how could I even think such a thing? He really was very good looking and he was still watching me with those lustful eyes... absolutely not. I turned back to Paul and I could read disappointment on his face, he really wanted me to have sex with this man. No... Definitely not. But to my utter amazement I realised that I’d said "ok."It had taken almost no time at all from my venomous "no" to my soft "ok." The whole cafe seemed to have gone quiet and I sat a few moments in stunned silence not believing what I’d said. What sort of woman am I? What sort of woman could agree to a proposition like that? I was upset with myself and with Paul for asking me and I was astounded that I could agree. What sort of person could consider having sex. And then my brain showed me an image of her and him together, embracing, his larger frame engulfing her tiny body. It was a ludicrous image: a middle-aged man who had no business being with this slender young woman. And yet, this image was harder to shove aside.Ahhh! I screamed inside. I didn’t want to think about it. But another image - him violently fingering her in the closet, her screaming out in ecstasy and looking directly at me…I was too tired, too emotionally drained to fight it. With a whimper, I let go, and the images came flooding into my awareness. Images of Alan kissing Madison, her red hair floating in the air, curling around his face and obscuring them from me. Of his hands wandering along her naked back, tracing the curve of her. The tears welled hot and bitter in my eyes. A searing pain split my chest as I thought of them fucking, of wild-haired Madison riding my husband, of him bucking up into her, pushing her up and away before clawing her back down onto him. I.
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